1. Golden Girl and the Vanishing Unicorn
Author: R. L. Stine
Illustrator: Ken Barr
First Published: June, 1986
ISBN: 0-345-32860-4
Length: 73 pages
Number of Endings: 10
Plot Summary: You come across an old woman who gives you a map which
appears to lead to the magical gemstone segment that you need in order to
become a really effective do-gooder. However, since finding the gemstone
seems to be the Golden Girl equivalent of escaping from Gilligan's Island,
you have much cause for suspicion....
My Thoughts: This book wasn't nearly as awful as I expected it to be.
I came into this with the horrors of the Find Your
Fate Junior - The Transformers books still fresh in my mind, and I
expected the same sort of third-person, condescending garbage, only
insultingly aimed at a female audience. As it turns out, the text is written
readably in the second-person, the condescension is gone, and while the book
is aimed at a female audience, it's not offensively "girly" in
tone -- sure, nearly all the characters are female and the most prominent
male is an arrogant moron, but it's not as grotesque as it could have been.
Of course, all this praise is not to say that this is a good book -- it's
cheesy and based on action figures, so high quality is not to be
expected -- but it is tolerable. It also happens to be hilariously funny
(quite unintentionally) thanks to its featured villain: Moth Lady. Now, the
mere mention of a villain named Moth Lady had me in hysterics, but it got
even sillier when I realized that all Moth Lady really does in this book is
flutter around and get drawn to flames! The mind boggles. If you're a fan
of humorous stupidity, this is a book worth finding. Beyond that, the only
thing that sticks out in my mind about this title is the fact that it's not
very aptly named -- only about half the paths through the book have anything
to do with a vanishing unicorn. Personally, I'd have called it Golden
Girl and the Flutterings of Moth Lady, but that's just me....
2. Golden Girl in the Land of Dreams
Author: Alice Storey
Illustrator: Ken Barr
First Published: June, 1986
ISBN: 0-345-32861-2
Length: 73 pages
Number of Endings: 16
Plot Summary: Two of your allies have prophetic dreams, one involving
captured children, the other involving the sought-after missing gemstone
half....
My Thoughts: This book is a bit less entertaining than the previous
one. Its writing is of about the same quality, but it doesn't have quite as
much amusing silliness. Dragon Queen's excessive use of the phrase "my
pretty" and the existence of an obstacle known as the Stream of Terrible
Dread caused me to chuckle a little, but it's hard to beat the previous
volume's use of Moth Lady for pure goofiness. The choices are also largely
unsatisfying, with no real sense of cause and effect -- in most cases,
there's no real motivation to make any particular choice, so the story just
unfolds randomly; for example, at one point, you are confronted with two
magical monsters. The most entertaining choice would probably be to pick
how to trick them, but the choice the book actually provides asks you
which beast to trick. Most choices are similarly pointless, and the
few that feel at least slightly meaningful still fail to be very exciting.
Finally, I should mention that the book attempts to introduce a bit of
characterization and romance to the series. A noble effort, perhaps, but it
largely falls flat; I'm just not that interested in Golden Girl's personal
life, I suppose....
3. Golden Girl and the Crystal of Doom
Author: Josepha Sherman
Illustrator: Ken Barr
First Published: June, 1986
ISBN: 0-345-32862-0
Length: 73 pages
Number of Endings: 18
Plot Summary: A local stonecarver has found a mysterious crystal,
and you set off to investigate....
My Thoughts: I commented in my review of the final Find Your Fate Junior - The Transformers book that
Josepha Sherman has a habit of writing the final book in gamebook series;
here's another example! It's not a bad conclusion; in contrast to the
previous book, its choices are far more strategic and interesting, and though
the writing is pretty dreadful (I think it would be impossible for a Golden
Girl book to be well-written), it's an entertaining enough (if brainless)
read. There's even a cameo appearance by Moth Lady (and yes, she flutters
around and gets drawn to a flame)! As an added bonus, I find the cover art
to be fairly impressive-looking (though Golden Girl looks ridiculous, as
always). My only real complaint (apart from the obvious complaints that can
be made about the whole Golden Girl concept) is that the book lacks internal
consistency, with one mysterious figure turning out to be different
characters in different places and with a general tendency for you to find
what you're looking for no matter where you go. This aside, though, it's a
good enough way to spend half an hour (which is about all the time it took me
to explore the possibilities to my satisfaction).